Typically fan films are bad, really bad. They are produced by people that are bigger fans than they are talented film makers. While there is something to be said for blind fanatical passion for a property, fan films are much better when helmed by a person or team that knows what they are doing. The Bankses clearly have a strong knowledge of many very important aspects to film-making. They also aren’t bad at acting, which is one of the biggest surprises.

One of the things Casey Jones The Movie does well is set the mood. The score and set-pieces perfectly match both the direction of the film and the classic origins of the character. If it wasn’t shot in New York, I would’ve never known. The music obviously pulls influence from the first Turtles film without being a blatant ripoff and accents the action enough to add depth to the experience, something most fan-films lack. Hilarion Banks plays the Casey character with the appropriate amount of bravado, and despite being seriously underweight to play the New York vigilante, he manages to pull it off nicely.

The costumes look great, especially Casey’s Mask and the foot ninja’s outfits. Even the (potentially movie destroying) Michelangelo costume is good enough. There’s a grit to the movie that is established very early on that I’m sure Turtles fans will appreciate. Several times during the film was genuinely impressed by the cinematography to the direction and camera work. The three acts of the film very distinct and Casey’s character develops as the movie plays out, but that’s where things get a bit hazy.

Departure from typical canon is fine. The Turtles are notorious for having a rich malleable history, and Casey Jones has taken many different character angles. Clearly the Casey that was supposed to be present here was the “CRAZY” vigilante Casey. The kill anyone that breaks the law Casey. Prior to the mask being worn I wasn’t getting “CRAZY” from that character. He was reading more as cocky with a short fuse. I don’t feel that there was a point in the story where Casey made that transformation from asshole with a hockey-stick to muderous lunatic. Also, his motivation to become a vigilante (getting beaten up in an alley, after kinda provoking the fight) seemed lackluster. The point during the second act when Casey takes a golf club to an unarmed gang member that had little to do with the crime being committed nearly detached me from the story completely. It seemed out of character for the Casey they had built.

Things also get a bit shaky in the third act. In all past origin stories for Casey Jones, the first Turtle he encounters is always Raphael. This is typically done to help develop the Raphael character and curb his temper. At first, the inclusion of Michelangelo in lieu of Raphael seemed weird, but after I noticed that Mikey’s voice was done by Robbie Rist (the same voice actor from the TMNT feature films) the change made sense. That revelation was weird for me as a huge fan. It created a odd dichotomy where they were clearly paying homage to the movies, by completely disregarding the proper origin of the Turtles/Casey relationship. But hey, if Robbie Rist agrees to voice a Turtle in your Casey Jones movie, you don’t tell him “No, that’s ok, we really need the Raph guy”, so I completely understand.

*Spoiler Alert* Also in the third act, the inclusion of Krang was odd when it would have been just as effective and probably easier to cast someone as Shredder. Having the story take place beneath some larger untold Turtles plot is classy and thought provoking and the fight sequence in the 3rd act rivals ones seen in big budget Hollywood films. The punches look like they hurt and the fight choreography is spot on. And finally, April’s wardrobe choice was ill advised at best.

With that said I was super pleased with how this turned out. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting much, as I said, fan films typically aren’t good. I can say with certitude that Casey Jones does a good job telling a story, and saluting the source material while still being an impressive piece of amateur film making. Rather than being a cheese-fest, Casey Jones The Movie is cool…really cool! I can only hope that the Bankses get the appropriate attention and money for this film because clearly there is talent to be mined here.

Visit http://www.caseyjonesthemovie.com/ to watch the flick!

Verdict: Totally worth watching…more than once.

A lot of time is spent up front establishing the characters on earth, and building a normal life around Jordan.  This is the one the stories biggest stumbling blocks.  Early on, the character development is awkward.  Jordan is hastily referred to multiples in the story as a “let down”, quitter and “asshole”, in an effort to describe his character.  This is positioned very obviously as the seed from which the hero Green Lantern is grown.  Blatantly stating the personality of Hal Jordan is one thing but actually showing that personality is another and at no point in the movie is Jordan ever seen as anything but a charming successful pilot. Jordan’s character is supposed to be psychologically damaged by an event that happened in his childhood. That event was meant to have emotional resonance in the film, but the scene falls flat and comes off as predictable, too over the top and cheesy.  This combined with Reynolds never being given the opportunity to be the aforementioned “asshole” leaves the slacker/quitter role unfulfilled.  Flimsy initial character establishment makes it hard to believe the growth he is supposed to experience throughout the film. 

Reynolds does a good job bringing his brand of one liners and off kilter delivery of them to the table, but the role itself wasn’t realized in a way that allowed him to stretch his ability as an actor.  Sure, he’s primarily a comedic actor and he’s doing his best to be the white Will Smith, but Reynolds has yet to have a breakout “actor’s” role like “The Pursuit of Happyness” or “Ali”.  Green Lantern doesn’t help in this department.  Some of the line delivery between him and female lead Blake Lively is cringe worthy (particularly during the dogfight near the beginning of the film).  To be fair, I think Reynolds did the best he could with what he was given, but many scenes could have used a few more takes and portions of the dialog between several characters should have been trimmed.  His performance brings much needed humor to the film. 

Once the Green Lantern action picks up, so does the movie.  For the most part, the visuals are amazing.  The issue with the “controversial” Green Lantern energy suit is not the lack of white gloves but the physical design of the mask.  Like a badly cropped pair of pants, the mask sits about halfway down Reynolds nose in a seemingly unexplainable position.  This combined with the size of Reynolds nose and the angles the mask is shown in frame makes it look silly.  A further tweaking of the design, maybe even making the mask thicker would have helped the entire suit not look so awkward. 

The Green Lantern planet of Oa has a strong design and the immensity of the universe and its Green inhabitants is displayed well.  Green Lanterns Tomar-Re, Kilowog and Sinestro bring the DC continuity to light and move the core story along well.  Here in the story is where I believe director Martin Campbell assumed the viewer stopped paying attention.  Through a few better placed edits and/or cuts the introduction of Hal Jordan into the Lanterns would have made more sense.  Specifically a scene where Hal Jordan unknowingly spouts off population information for multiple sectors in the cosmos has Jordan questioning Tomar-Re how he already knows that information.  Tomar-Re responds stating that during the Green Lantern-ing process (a process that visually looked solely like a reason to get Ryan Reynolds in his skivvies) Jordan was implanted with massive amounts of Green Lantern related information.  This is all well and good, until that scene is immediately followed by a 10 sequence with Jordan asking Tomar-Re, Kilowog and Sinestro questions about very basic Green Lantern info.  Apparently the data dump that Jordan experienced didn’t include critical Lantern info like what planet he was on, who are all these green dudes, or by the way…you can fly now.  The knowledge obtained during this process wasn’t called upon at any other point in the movie, which makes me wonder why that line didn’t end up on the cutting room floor. 

Another point in the film that just didn’t make sense was in the second act, when the Sinestro was speaking with the Guardians regarding his plans to combat the primary villain Parallax.  The Guardians had just revealed that Parallax was a former Guardian that had been corrupted by the essence of Fear.  When Sinestro suggests the construction a ring made out of that same essence, the Guardians put up no alternatives and agreed it was a good idea.   Things like this just defy logical explanation.  This happened again near the final battle when Hal Jordan just shows up in front of both Sinestro and the Guardians, magically knowing their plans to fight Parallax despite it never being shown that he was privy to what they were discussing.

Green Lantern is an early nominee for “Summer Movie” of the summer.  Much like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Lantern places priority on spectacle and flash.  The script is written with 13 year old boys in mind.  One line quotable blurbs are all over the place and simple plot holes and questionable character actions are constantly at battle with the plausibility of the fantastical story.  It’s fun and Reynolds does a great job being a toned down version of himself, but anyone looking for serious movie going experience can check out early.  In the pantheon of super hero movies, Green Lantern falls in the bottom half of the barrel, next to Daredevil, Fantastic Four 2, and Batman Forever. 

Verdict: Bring some popcorn, your kids will love it.

The movie begins with Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto) being separated from his parents. Through the desperation of wanting to remain with them he discovers that he can manipulate metal objects. Things go downhill from there and Magneto’s childhood is anything but bright. In stark contrast, Charles Xavier grows up in a mansion, graduates from college and becomes a Professor (I bet you didn’t see that coming, did ya?). Their paths end up crossing and the ‘First Class’ is formed soon after.

I had many reservations about this movie. At the top of the list was James McAvoy (a.k.a. That dude from Wanted) being cast as Professor X. He certainly doesn’t show much range in Wanted (and in his defense the script didn’t demand it). I must say that he does an excellent job as the young professor. To be blunt he freakin’ nails it. The same can be said for Michael Fassbender (Magneto). He does a great job expressing the anger and vengeance that reside within the character. He and McAvoy have excellent chemistry. Take notes, Captain Picard and Gandalf.

Kevin Bacon also does an excellent job as Sebastian Shaw. I haven’t seen much of his work outside of Tremors, so let’s just say he far exceeded my expectations. He makes an excellent villain. The other members of the cast (as far as I’m concerned anyway) are inconsequential. But they don’t really detract from the experience, so I guess they do a good job.

This movie is similar to Batman Begins in the sense that it makes all of the X-men movies before it look like pure cheese. First Class is definitely the best X-men movie to date. Also, in case you were wondering, I enjoyed it much more than The Dark Knight. Unlike The Dark Knight, First Class does not drag on unnecessarily.

I know this movie is titled X-men: First class, but make no mistake, it might as well be called X-men Origins: Magneto. He is definitely the star here, and rightfully so. He is easily the most interesting character in the movie (not that he has much competition). Outside of Professor X, Beast and Mystique, the other mutants are a complete joke.

P.S. – There’s also a cameo in the middle of the movie that is pure win. I’m not about to spoil it though so you’ll just have to watch!

Also, let us know what you thought of the movie! Sound off in the comments section below!

–My Synopsis–

After an all night L.A. penthouse party six friends awake to a haunting blue glow peering through the window blinds.  If one stares directly into the light they are pulled towards the light and levitated up to “a” mother-ship.    Through the windows there can be seen multiple sources of the blue light and many mother-ships inhaling people like Pringles.  The mother-ships also send out many flying drones and giant gorilla like walkers to seek and capture any who have avoided the initial wave of blue light abductions.  One party goer is whisked away.  The remaining five survivors then have to make a decision, either hide out in the penthouse or make a break for the boats at the nearby harbor.

Pretty good premise, huh?

–What Actually Happens–

Everyone dies!  Did I spoil it?  Oh and they do not get very far.  This movie was definitely filmed entirely within this hotel except for the flight in.  I can name every set in this movie:  Penthouse, Penthouse 2, parking garage, stair well, pool, and roof.  Yep that about covers it.

Okay here is the movie:  Friend flies to LA with pregnant girlfriend to visit successful recording artist friend who has secretly gotten said friend a job in LA without telling friend or friend’s girlfriend.  They party in penthouse, where it becomes evident that the rapper friend is cheating on his girlfriend.  Fast forward to morning.  Cue blue Light.  The six remaining friend party goers awake and one is taken.  The lead character looks into the light and his body gets blue veins  all over it.  He is almost taken by the light but is saved by a friend.   He mentions that the only thing he can recall from the light is a feeling of being empowered.

“Lets go to the roof and see what’s going on.”  Bring a gun.  Cue the “Skyline”.  I believe they went to a roof of an LA building and just filmed hours of the skyline at multiple times of the day then spent 98% of the budget Photo-shopping the creatures and abductions everywhere then returning to the roof as often as possible.  Next scene parking garage.  Use very loud sports car to escape to pier.  Rapper gets sucked into hand of giant gorilla alien.  Team fleas gets followed by small hover drone.  Random couple in garage crash car into drone killing it.  Drone uses tentacle to take random couple husband’s brain. Oh Snap!!! The aliens are here to take our brains.  Not actually eat them but use them to power/run their organic amalgamations.  Flee past pool and to stairwell with Grape Ape in pursuit.  Return to penthouse with building super.

Military fights.  Nukes mother-ship.  Success?  Mother ship crashes then launches thousands of drones and begins psychically repairing itself.  Time lapse to another day.  Hide in penthouse and watch from windows.  Everyone eventually is taken except for building superintendent, friend and pregnant girlfriend who head to rooftop (again).  Superintendent blows self up to knock Donkey Kong off the Empire state building but he climbs back to top.  Military takes out Yogi with an airplane.

Single drone shows up to take the happy couple.  Boyfriend with new blue strength powers defeats drone with cinder block, combo punches and finishes him with Sub-zero’s original fatality.  Repaired mother-ship hovers over building and takes couple while they get one last kiss in.

Okay now the movie could have ended here and just said we lose but no we get to see what happens inside of the mother-ship.  In a scene out of the matrix people are scattered all over the place covered by black tubes and the BP oil spill.  All around people’s brains are being taken including the hero’s.  Pregnant girlfriend is next but the machines detect a second heart beat and she is taken to the “nursery” with the other expectant mothers.  Next we follow some tubes filled with glowing blue brains and what we can assume is our hero’s brain glowing red.  In the next room we see the brains being installed in grunts who immediately spring to life and exit to perform whatever their duties are, until the red brain is installed and the grunt drops and spasms before rising with new purpose.  Our hero has a unique brain.  Cut to pregnant girlfriend who is about to have a forced premature birth.  In comes boyfriend in his new battle body ripping apart the baby extraction apparatus.  He places an appendage on pregnant girlfriend’s tummy checking the baby’s heartbeat.  True love informs girlfriend this is her boyfriend.  Cue more enemies.  Yeah its about to get good.  Protector strikes a pose like Optimus Prime and….. Roll credits.

Yes that is how it ends.  The credits roll with 3-D panning images of stop motion clay dolls depicting possible unfinished action scenes reminiscent of that one Halo 3 advertisement.  I really believe they ran out of money while making this film.

–How it Should have Ended–

This is how I think it should have ended.  The protector should have went on an action packed gory rampage throughout the mother-ship creating a path of carnage until he arrives at the mother-ship’s core where we see that it is also controlled by a human brain.  He fights something significant in a glorious final battle and installs his brain into the mother-ship.  He uses the mother ship to take out or control the other ships and releases all the surviving captives including his girlfriend.  He then leaves earth with or without the other mother-ships in tow bound for the alien home-world…. now roll credits.  See, now isn’t that so much more awesome.  Much better and at least we get some closure.

-Conclusion-

Avoid this movie.  Do not pay full movie ticket price.  Do not pass Go.  Maybe worth a one dollar Red Box rental or Netflix stream.  Believe me, you will get more enjoyment from laughing at this movie later with friends than while watching it in the movie theater auditorium.

Now unlike many of the “’3D” movies that have been coming out this one was filmed fully in 3D. With the very same cameras used for James Cameron’s AVATAR. Which means it’s not a tack on. Thank goodness. Also just so you guys know I won’t be doing any bashing cause I actually enjoy the live action franchise. So no needless hate here. But I will still be honest.

This is by no means a stellarly awesome movie for story, but what it does it does great. This is straight up POPCORN.Which for these type of movies is exactly what I want to see. This movies takes place just a few months after the end of RE Extinction. Alice and her clones infiltrate the Japanese headquarters to get to Wesker. Now Wesker escapes as he’s always done in the games. But in his escape he injects Alice with a vaccine that removes all of her GOD-like powers and abilities. We then follow Alice as she flies down the west cost looking for other survivors and ARCADIA. The safe haven everyone was searching for in EXTINCTION.

All she finds is Claire alone and feral. She takes Claire with her as she travels down the coast. Finally coming to Los Angeles and a prison that is surrounded by all of the zombies of the city with of course a few survivors holding out. And a added surprise of Claire’s brother Chris among them. Now Paul Anderson has always incorporated enemies from the games into his films. AFTERLIFE is no different. With the Uroburos zombies, dogs, and Executioner from RE5  making appearances.

As an action movie I loved it. The 3D was well done and not just added on for the more money. The new enemies were well represented. And the final fight with Wesker to me was awesome. Personally I think Wesker has been the best character casted of any of the films. Cold, calculating, and smug the characterization was spot on. The fact that if you’ve played RE5 and remember those boss encounters with him in his human form that’s exactly what you see. Fast, strong, and woefully untouchable.

And like all the other Resident Evil Live action movies leaves you with cliffhanger ending. Which smile or rage is appropriate since AFTERLIFE is the first of a second trilogy of RE movies. With Paul Anderson and Milla Jovavich listening to fans about what they want in the next film via twitter and other social sites.

Now I love the live action RE movies. I personally don’t want a movie that has me watching an actor doing all the exact same things I have done many times over in a game. I want something different. And for me these movies as a fan does that. With many of the same characters but set in let’s say a alternate timeline or dimension these movies have gone beyond what the games have done. Where in the games Umbrella is no more and the outbreaks contained. The live action movies show a world where the T-Virus wipes out everything. Giving RE fans a different experience that what they get in the games.

With decent story progression, excellent 3D, zombies shot in the head, and stuff going splody this is a great POPCORN movie. It does what it does and actually explains why things go on. Which many movies don’t always do.

VERDICT : A must see for any RE fan that’s not a die hard fanboy. Actually worth the 3D price.

This is a short six episode story told before the events of Terminator Salvation. I was walking through Walmart and saw this DVD on the $3 rack. Being a huge Terminator fan, I could not pass on the intregue that hit me. I didn’t know what Machinima was, but thought “Hey, worst case scenario, its anime” and picked the disc up. Its an official Terminator release with Moon Bloodgood reprising her role as Blair Williams from last year’s Terminator Salvation.

At first glance, I see through the ruse and understand that its just a cheap tie-in to help promote the then new (when it originally came out) Terminator Salvation. The reason I opened this review with the definition of Machinima is because you need to know this information going in, otherwise, you WILL be disappointed. The facial animations and general look of the show is on par with a low budget Xbox 360 game running in-engine graphics. The voice over work doesn’t match the mouth animations and the majority of the six episode arc is spent with the characters hiding behind chest high walls. Ok, that last part may be a bit of an exaggeration, but a predominant portion of the show IS spent with characters shooting things or being shot at. Sticking true to Terminator fashion, there’s only about 5-10 minutes worth of actual story in the whole arc.

There’s simply not much to say about the story. If needed, it could be declared non-canon and the Terminator series wouldn’t lose anything of necessity or value, much like Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. I don’t want to spoil it for you, but Blair doesn’t die and she doesn’t destroy all of the Machines. Status-quo maintained! The biggest issue with Terminator Salvation: The Machinima Series, is its inexplicable application of the Machinima film style.

Machinima, as a style, is pure novelty. It’s a “Hey look what we did!” way of getting attention, kinda like the guy that made a mural of Conan O’Brien’s face out of different colored Cheetos. After finding out what Machinima is I immediately remembered watching Red Vs. Blue and the WOW episode of South Park. Then I realized that the creators of this project just don’t get it. You don’t watch Machinima to appreciate the art of the project or the dramatic feel of the setting, you watch it because its funny. It funny seeing characters you are familiar with having conversations with each other in a crappily animated video game setting.

This project does nothing funny and tries really hard to be taken seriously. Its hard enough for real CGI movies to be taken seriously. That really wasn’t achieved until Avatar. To expect that, out of an “art style” that prides it self on looking crappy is nearly impossible. Terminator Salvation: The Machinima Series proves this beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Also, the real root of the Machinima craze was the idea that stories could be told using an in-game engine, by using the terrible first person angles created by placing you character in just the right spot on a map, and by working with extremely limited tools to make something special. Terminator Salvation: The Machinima Series does none of these. The camera angles are extremely scripted, not pulled from a first person viewpoint and its very clear that while the graphics may have been created with a video game engine, the footage was not. If you don’t take hours upon days setting up a shot with 4 different consoles/computers LAN’d together and you are not making a Machinima film! You are making a shitty looking CGI pic, and that’s exactly what this is.

Finally, why is this at Wal-mart? This should only be sold at specialty retailers that cater directly to the audience that appreciates Machinima. Your average Terminator fan is an 18-35 year old male that likes to see cool explosions, guns and awesome graphics. That’s a large swatch of the population and most of them don’t know and don’t care to know what Machinima is. This explains the $3 price tag. I promise you this is how most purchases went. Dude buys DVD thinking “hells yeah, Terminator! and it has that hot chick in it too!” He gets the disc home and pops it into his player. He sees the absurdly animated CG and is immediately disappointed. He fast forwards through a few episodes to see if there’s any digital nudity, and upon not finding any, he takes it out and goes back to the most recent Jason Statham film. The DVD then ends up being sold for a quarter at his mom’s garage sale.

Verdict: The Very Definition of Fail!!!

First thing I will say is that the movie Zombie has changed significantly since the old “* of the Dead” series.  No longer it seems do we have “Undead” but now everyone is infected, either by a sickness or a parasite.  I believe this was done because it’s hard to mix action with slow shambling “Brains!” So Hollywood and Game developers use “infections” to give their “Zombies” intelligence and “Left 4 Dead” world class sprinter, curb stomp doctorates.  Traditionalist may frown upon this but one awesome thing that infections bring to the table is mutations.  Well enough about that, its movie time.

–The Crazies: Summary–

The movie begins by providing the township’s name(rural area outside Cedar Rapids) and the population count.  Anyone who has seen a movie that starts this way pretty much know that the entire population will die.  In this rural farm area a military carrier plane crashes in a swamp which just so happens to be connected to the town’s fresh water supply.  The plane was carrying a Biological Weapon and thus anyone who drinks the water turns “Crazy” and commits very heinous, violent acts on anyone in their path.  Military comes in, things don’t get better, and then its Raccoon City all over again.

–Liked–

I love zombie movies and zombie games.  Must be the geek in me.  The progression of the virus was displayed rather well.  One Crazy was locked in a jail cell and you get many shots of his body deteriorating and large dark veins all over his extremities.  My favorite character is the deputy who is very trigger happy and accurate with a rifle.  He has an attitude of “Do it once do it right.”  The special effects are great and the rural town is comprised of your hill billy Tinseltown stereotype.

–Dis-liked–

There were not enough “Zombies” shown in the movie.  You only got to see maybe a hand full of Crazies.  The army was so trigger happy that they killed many people before they went Crazy.  Other than that I thoroughly enjoyed the movie.  It was of sufficiently length and I felt satisfied.  Another problem though which is not a picture problem is my theater (The Grand) only screened this film in one auditorium.  Is this film low budget or not expected to do well.  The studios should put more emphasis on this flick.  I am greatly eager for a sequel.

–Conclusion–

The movie accurately sets itself up for a sequel.  The two survivors escape the nuclear blast and in the end you see them walking towards a city scape.  The camera then zooms out all spy satellite like and then text appears saying “Cedar Rapids, population 100,000+, begin Quarantine procedures” not word for word but you get my drift.  Hopefully the sequel has tons of zombies and few people who are immune and left for dead by the military. If you like zombies go see it.

–PS: Valve–

The movies “Quarantine” and “The Crazies” both set the stage to be a prequel to a movie that I think we all want.  Valve, “We want(I WANT) a Left 4 Dead movie”

Back at e3 in June, Sergio and I attended the Ubisoft media briefing. We were both shocked when James Cameron walked onto the stage to talk about the Avatar video game. He also talked a bit about the movie that was released yesterday. Until then the movie was totally not on my radar. The only thing that I cared about was that it ripped off the name of a popular Nickelodeon cartoon.

On the contrary, this movie has been in the works since before Titanic was released. James told us that when he brought the concept to producers, they said that there was no way that it could be done.

That was then, this is now.

The first thing you need to know about this movie is that it is a visual masterpiece. Suspension of belief aside, I have never witnessed more remarkable 3D animation. Everything is seamless. The Na’vi people have a level of expression that makes Jar-jar Binks and his friends look like Saturday morning cartoons. It’s freakish.

Each of the Dreamwalkers have a resemblance to their human controllers, and the level of expression is truly something to behold. Pandora’s lifeforms come to life in a way that makes you forget that 90% of what you are watching was pooped out of a computer.

The bad thing is that I don’t know if I will be buying this movie on DVD (or Bluray, for that matter…) because of the 3D technology. The glasses are definitely not a gimmick. 3D adds another element to the immersion and I want to encourage you to watch the movie in 3D if you can. You will not regret it. This movie definitely is going to be experienced best in the theater.

There’s the obvious space-opera backdrop (with the whole thing being on an alien planet) and there are even nods to anime like Evangelion (I couldn’t help but think about sync ratios when he jumped inside of the Avatar control system for the first time). You have space marines, which sort of gives things a Halo vibe. In fact, I’m quite sure after watching this movie that Halo can be done justice in the theater.

Speaking of games: I haven’t played the Avatar game, but there could be some amazing games made in this universe.

The thing I like most about this movie is that it never forgets that it is a movie. What I mean is that with all the special effects, they never get in the way of things. They are simply a backdrop for a compelling story. And even with that, you’ve seen this story before. It can be seen as technology vs. nature or capitalism vs. communism. You’ve seen similar plots in movies like Ferngully…heck, it even resembles The Last Samurai on some levels. However, the complete package together brings us something new and unique.

I don’t really want to get into any more detail, just know that if you love watching movies this is something you can appreciate. If you are a syfy sci-fi fan, this movie is something you can REALLY appreciate.

I think we have a new epic on our hands.

–Here Goes–

New Moon is a movie that definitely is meant to cater only to young women.  I do not even believe that ‘mature’ women would enjoy this movie.  It is portrayed in such a way that it is immature and frightening at the same time.  I know women say men only like action and explosions but I can assure you that I can pay attention to a story.  Story is supposed to give you some character building so that you can form a sort of bond with the on screen protagonist.  The only thing this movie developed for me was a great hate for the main character, Bella Swan.  She is the epitome of a young woman who just does not understand how ignorant of life she is.  At some points in the movie I felt like the father should have just had her committed to an asylum. (Late night Dream Screaming)  What scared me the most however is that there are many young women out in the world who can identify with this character.  I hope my future female offspring does not turn out like this.

Moving on to what I as a man look for in a movie, THE ACTION.  The movie is about two hours and ten minutes and contains about three to five action scenes, some so short not sure you could count them.  Each scene is specially made to cater to its viewership, which are hormonal young women.  Sure the wolf animations are superb but they do not make up for how short the scenes are and that they really are just scenes of estrous fantasy.

Scene one has a female vampire (big character in series and in the first movie, forgot her name) being chased by the wolf pack.  It is pretty much a girls fantasy to be pursued by a multitude of naked men.  She gives an old man a heart attack and gets away.  Our first display of super speed portrayed in high frames per seconds Super Slow-Mo.

Action scene 2 is a big disappointment, Bella is approached by a Jamaican vampire from movie one who is going to kill her for the female vampire from part one but to the rescue comes the wolf pack.  We get maybe one or two punches and then they begin chase leaving the camera man to follow Bella.  This could have been a good chance to see what the vampires and wolves could do but all we get is Jacob saying yeah we killed that vampire and look how perky my nipples are.

We now get a scene where Bella approaches the wolf pack and slaps one of the guys because she thinks they made Jacob a wolf.  Well the werewolves in this movie are not full moon types, they are the “Don’t Make Me Angry” type.  Well he changes and then Jacob changes and they tussle for about three seconds before we are forced to follow Bella again to the alpha male’s home where you see he lost his temper once and scarred his wife’s face.  Then Jacob and the other wolf guy stroll in as if they just finished playing one on one basketball and all is well.  Another missed opportunity to display some supernatural action.

Now lets go to Italy where you finally get to see Edward take off ‘his’ shirt (although the wolf pack group never had a shirt on to take off) and twinkle twilight with his ‘emo’ expressionless facade amidst a parade of Vatican attired parishioners.  Thankfully this does not last long as they are then escorted to the old vampire group (Vulturi-They eat people) where **SPOILER** (who cares)  Dakota Fanning makes her appearance.  She has the ability to cause you pain just by saying it.  I guess that can be related to women saying words hurt more than actions.  We get a fight scene here cause the old vampires want to kill Bella and Edward protects her by getting his ass handed to him in a Super Slow-Mo fight meant to symbolize super fast movement. (to much Matrix) Well, to the rescue comes Bella willing to sacrifice herself for the boy(though he is over a hundred years old,  what is it with women and older men, that is statutory, her father is the police. </rant>)  she loves.  See this is why I hate this character, she is only eighteen years old and is ready to die for her first love, such ignorance and immaturity.  Please young women do not be this girl.  Live a little, experience life.  You are only eighteen.  I assure you this is “NOT” it.  Sorry M J.

And final scene; it looks like we might get some action.  Edward and Jacob look like they are gonna square off.  All the girls in the theater are squealing, thankfully Jacobs goes wolf so I no longer have to see so much man skin.  But Bella steps in, tells Jacob she would choose Edward over him and he leaves.  No action.  Then the words “Mary Me”, ROLL CREDITS.

The "300" diet works kiddies

Well If you made it this far then you definitely love a good rant.  I did a lot of complaining about this movie but this movie was not made for me.  But if you are gonna make a movie that a large group of people, outside your regular audience, are gonna be dragged to watch then please give throw us a bone.  For me, watching this movie is probably equivalent to a woman who does not like action movies being forced watching “Shoot’em Up” (Great Man movie by the Way, Sex scene with Ninjas, “giggidy”).  To sum this movie up.  It is a cash in.  The writers, producers, and directors know where the money is.  It’s in the pockets of horny, hormonal young women and the guys they drag with them who are hoping for a happy ending of their own.  I still wonder though,  my girlfriend says the last book is chock full of very vivid gratuitous sex scenes.  Hmm, sounds more interesting by the minute, but how are they gonna get a PG-13 rating this time and stay true to the book.  Well they have years to figure it out, and will probably do them like the action scenes in new moon, make them three seconds each.

Oldboy, Oldboy, Oldboy. Yours is a twisted tale. One which can sicken the faint of heart, but bring so much joy to those with passion for a gut-wrenching, suspense filled tale. Oldboy is a winding road of discovery, spattered with action, which eventually brings protagonist, Dae-su, to the realization that is every bit as disturbing as anything I have ever seen or heard.

Background. Oldboy, a Korean film directed by Park Chan-wook, was released in 2003 and is a loosely based film adaptation of a Japanese manga of the same name.

Plot. Oh Dae-su, a Korean businessman, husband, and father finds himself kidnapped and placed in a holding jail that appears to look like a run down hotel room with no access to the outside world other than a television set. After days of yelling and trying to get someone to give him some sort of explanation, he gives up and begins watching his television. Soon after, he learns that his wife has been murdered and that he is the number one suspect. Days turn into weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. The notion that he as been imprisoned for no apparent reason torments him and he often times loses his sanity. Thinking that at some point he may have the chance to escape from this living hell and ensue revenge on his captor’s, he trains feverishly. After 15 long years he is released with no explanation, rhyme or reason. Dae-su begins a quest to find his captors and figure out the reason why he has been imprisoned for the last fifteen years of his life.

The Good. Nothing in Oldboy is taken lightly. The extremeness of the plot and action is the hook. This film will easily have you running the gamut of human emotions. That being said, this movie is also extremely well paced. I often have problems with most action-suspense movies because they contain way too many dead spots, or don’t offer up enough story to keep me glued. This movie has a great balance of action, suspense, and reveals that will keep you on edge and guessing throughout. Ultimately the story is not as complex as it seems, but the mayhem that is distributed to reveal this perceived complexity, is all too appealing.

The Bad. The only bad thing I can see here is the sickness of the plot. Although this is also one of the movie’s strong points. So I don’t know if I can really say if it’s a bad thing. I will say that most people won’t find the scenarios that this movie reveals socially acceptable. But with most movies, how often do we really find the plot socially acceptable? I can’t really go into further explanation here, you just really have to see the movie.

If you read my last review for District B13, then you know I’m strongly opposed to reading subtitles. Fortunately the Netflix version of this movie does offer up an English dubbed audio track. Good that it’s there, but kind of disappointing that it’s poorly done. At first I felt like I was watching an old kungfu movie. Good thing is, as the movie goes on, you barely notice. But as I stated in my last review pertaining to subtitles, I can’t demerit the film for this (albeit the localization staff stands to lose a few points).

Conclusion. All in all, this is a great movie. I absolutely loved it. Because of the plot, I would think that this is not for everyone. But if you love action and have a tooth for good suspense, then this is definitely the movie for you.

Also, there have been rumors of an American-made adaptation of the original Japanese manga for quite some time. Supposedly Steven Spielberg was to head up the project, with Will Smith portraying the role of Dae-su. Seems the US version of the film has been tied up due to legal litigation as explained by AnimeNewsNetwork. Seems the manga publishers and the film makers are at odds over selling movie rights. As of right now, the project is reported to be dead.

Verdict: Must See