So I picked up this game at Gamestop for about ten dollars –brand new– out the bargain bin a while back. For obvious reasons, GameStop just wants to get this product out of the store. And for all the horrible reviews Duke Nukem Forever has received, I had to see for myself if such overwhelmingly negative reviews were justified. Brace yourself.
The gameplay mechanics are OLD AND SERIOUSLY OUTDATED. Currently, gameplay mechanics are measured by such games as Halo or Call of Duty, and if a game doesn’t play anything like these games, you can almost certainly know it will be automatically received as being bad. This game plays like all the first person shooters that came out when this game should have come out, about eleven to thirteen years ago. Game intensity and difficulty ranges from calm and relaxing to ‘I want to pull my hair out’. As far as controls go, by today’s standards the controls are clunky at best. Don’t get me wrong, they are responsive, but nothing like what we have become accustomed to. There is no snap feature when it comes to locking onto a target, and no lock-on system whatsoever, with the exception of the rocket propelled grenade launcher, but then you have to manually keep the rectal on the target for a few seconds to get the lock. The multiplayer system suffers from the same outdated-ness. Multiplayer matches are limited to four-on-four no matter what mode you are playing.
The narrative of Duke Nukem Forever hurts the game a lot, but this could partly be due to the game going through several development teams. But honestly, it’s a Duke Nukem game and none of them have been known for their stories. When Duke was first introduced he was a parody of every seventy’s and eighty’s action hero. He’s muscled, kicks-ass, crude, and spouts a crap-ton of one liners. The game is filled with lots of moments of plain silliness. For instance, on one stage Duke does nothing but go through his strip club finding items to get a lap-dance in a dream sequence. There are moments when it seems your going to have non-player character help, but these are basically cannon fodder and die almost as soon as any action picks up.
There are several places where the gameplay takes a change. A turret sequence, some vehicle driving, and a few places where Duke gets shrunk down and has to do some platforming to get around. The weapons are typical Duke. With many Duke mainstays like the trusty pistol, shotgun, RPG, and devestator, with the added weapons of a Shrink ray, and a freeze ray. You also get two types of throw-ables, the pipe bomb that you throw and then detonate with a car clicker, and a trip mine you can set onto any surface. The bosses are set to where only explosives can kill them so these, along with the explosive weapons are your only means to win.
Once you beat the game on normal you unlock the cheat extras. Which include Big Head, God Mode, Infinite Ammo, and more. Yet like all other games they disable trophy acquisition. Which may or may not matter as for the most part the replay value of the single player is a bit lacking on the whole.
For the multiplayer you have the normal game modes with some twists. Death-match and team death-match are called Duke Match and Team Duke Match. The capture the flag is Capture the Babe, which does have some interesting twists. You of course pick up the enemies Babe, but you lose the ability to use any of your weapons. You must instead use the single shot garter pistol the Babe has on her. She will make it hard for you as well by placing her hand in front of your face, but you can just press the button to spank her ass and she will move it away. The garter pistol is a one shot kill which is nice, but it has slow reload, and the lost of the snap feature does mean you have to use more skill. Your domination match is Hail to the King, where you must take the control points and do a Hail to the King while in the point.
You get quite a bit of customization as you progress through the multi-player. You get different hats, eyeware, and shirt logos to outfit Duke. Also added is the My Digs, that has furniture, games, and babes to unlock as you level up. Which makes wanting to progress through the multi-player a bit more intriguing as you get the ability to ogle the babes. The maps are interesting. You get simple ones, and some that are really cluttered. Duke Burger map has all of you shrunk and running around the Duke Burger kitchen. It’s a very fun map, in that you have several ways to trap and kill other players with environmental hazards like the microwave, and dishwasher.
Unfortunately the main problem with the maps are the weapon placements. Some are hard to get to, and are set to where you can be a very easy target. Which can make it very frustrating to get the things you need to rack up your points, unless your the guy that gets them first and starts camping. Matches can be set up in various ways: limited weapons, infinite ammo, score counts, etc. As a side not, guys flying around with jetpacks wielding the devastator can just ruin your day.
Overall the game is enjoyable, and will give you a few good hours of playtime. The multi-player is actually a great way to hop online and just play for a few matches and then get off. It also has a huge plethora of challenges you can do that can rack up to big experience point rewards. Again if this game had come out when it was originally supposed to, the only thing that would have given it a run for it’s money would have been Doom 3. As is today, I really think they just put it out to get rid of it and maybe move on to something else.
For the original price it definitely wouldn’t have been worth looking at. At ten bucks or even five, like some Best Buys have done, you get what you pay for. A simple game that plays simple, gives you some fun moments, and has lots of crude humor, and gives you something to go “Damn” about.
